Night's Tale

"I could go on about the scenario back at office, it just maddens me. I bet you would have been exasperated like me by now, or may be he wouldn't, he's so bloody calm all the time, or may be you'd shrug it off."

"Woah! What did I do? Why is this suddenly about me? You know these are hazards of corporate life. Take it cas!"

"Murder the language!, What the hell is cas! I don't even want to ask you. It must be one of your crazy ideas or some dark sense of humor. "  I keep quiet, he figures I am done rambling and throwing a fit, he looks at me evenly, and I as usual avoid looking directly into his eyes, making myself busy with the purse which I had flung across the bed.

"I am off to take a shower, do you mind staying alone for some time?"

"No, I have my book." I grin back foolishly  and point to the Midnight's Children on the bed.  Why does he feel skeptical about leaving me alone? What does he think, I will actually shoot a resignation mail to my exasperating boss? No, I am a sensible woman, who can't take her eyes off the guy in front of the cupboard selecting a pair of tracks and matching T shirt... No, I am a sensible girl and I will not, look at those hips as walks across the room or contemplate the back err side.

"So, I am off to the shower, you sure you will be okay? Should I turn on the TV for you, and he says all this without registering my horror at his proximity to me, when he walked back into the room and stood so close to me that I can almost smell that faint perfume, is it called perfume? It's His smell. I only have HD channels subscription?"

"No, I say a little too forcefully, I smile to salvage the situation, I think I will survive a few minutes."

"I will take at least half and hour." What will he do in that half hour? I almost shut my eyes to an image that springs into my mind. Crap, Crap, Crappity Crap. Friend's do not have images of a friend doing things to himself in the bathroom. Oh my lord, have I become so ...  My thoughts are interrupted by a touch, of his hands as he leans across the bed to pick up his pack of cigarettes and lighter. I frown inwardly, everything in the room stinks of the smoke. He is sauntering off to the attached bathroom, my eyes follow him, as he passes by the mirror he catches me gaping at him like the proverbial Pavlov's Dog or a fool. I think I see a smirk kiss his lips as I shift my gaze to Salman Rushdie.

What in God's name is wrong with me? I admonish myself inwardly. Where on Earth are these crazy feelings surfacing from? The only reason I am in this bedroom is I want to do so many things to that cute guy, which I had an opportunity 3 months ago when he caught me by surprise, trapping me with his words into spending the night with him, there was a rat in the room booked by my company in a stupid Hotel. I hate having two parallel thoughts running in my mind, it confuses me.

*****

I decide this is a good time to put my suitcase in the spare room. My suitcase is such a dirty one, he must think I am, wait, I admonish myself, it is not about him, I place the suitcase in the room, it's filled with empty boxes, giving a feeling that the resident of the apartment has recently shifted and unpacked. Yet I know that he has been living in this rented apartment for the last 2 years. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that this is one of the largest apartments I have seen, for one single guy, who spends almost 80% of his waking hour outside it. I decide to arrange the clothes that I will change into for the evening. While doing this a thought pops into my head. What an eventful day it has been, flying in to the city I was not looking forward to the dreary and long meetings which just gives me headache, then returning to the impersonal Hotel Room sharing it with some random person in the team, in the name of team building, I roll my eyes at the thought. Then the rat made its appearance and I wanted the room to be changed, the manager was adamant and my own company's co-ordinator refused to assist me. I was in a foul mood.

I reflect back at the day's event that unfolded at work, how I almost sent a resignation letter to my boss! 'Almost sent', because I got a call from him during my lunch hour, because he wanted me to meet him for dinner. I offloaded as much of the trouble as possible on him, speaking to him in hushed tones from the washroom in the office. He just kept quiet but did not speak a word. His silence drove me up the wall, I was on the verge of tears, when he told me to calm down and get back to work. We could discuss this over dinner like as if this was some professional, instead of me being an emotional over reacting idiot, discussion.

I walk out of the room, sweating from the heat in the room or in my mind I don't know. I don't really want to read the book, it's a serious book, and I don’t want to read a serious book. I want to think about nothing that has happened at work. I don't like staying away from my family, the thought of having to live out of suitcase is difficult. I have never been fond of travelling unless it is for leisure and definitely cannot be bothered with being cooped up in the hotel room with the city outside waiting to be explored. I wander around the apartment walking through the wide corridor linking the two bedrooms with the living area and kitchen. The kitchen is pretty modern but bears an unkempt look, there are no dirty dishes, I hate dirty dishes, I have to wash them the moment I see them. I open the refrigerator hoping to find something to drink. The fabled quintessential 'cool' guy should at least have the favorite Stela beer stash somewhere here. Beer is not my favorite alcoholic beverage, I frown, moodily.

The living area is spacious, with a beige couch taking up one side of the room with its back to the heavily tinted windows opening into the sprawling terrace. One wall in the room is done up with art deco type paint, which gives the painted surface some texture and feel, I run my hand across the wall admiring the clock on it. A strange looking clock with Alphabets instead of numbers on the dial. I remember the other clocks in the apartment. I don't like clocks.

The living room is sparse but the main attraction is the very large display cabinet with light tinted glass shutters, behind it I squint to see bottles of liquor, in all shapes and sizes, some are miniatures. My fingers tingle wanting to touch them, but the cabinet is locked. Weird! I guess he thinks someone might steal them. The next shelf in the cabinet is filled with stacks of CD's, DVD's etc. I can't even begin to count; there must be at least 300 jackets inside. So he collects things, I am a collector too, I bristle proudly, and I collect books, not rare books, just books. I love reading. But I don't wish to read now.

I moodily contemplate walking out to the terrace. It's dark outside; I look at the clock on the wall with alphabets, and find the hands pointing to E and T. So is it the hour of ET, I chuckle, grinning widely I decide to try the door knob on the door leading out to the terrace. I am distracted by the couch, will he ask me to sleep here, and there is large double bed in the bedroom? I don't mind the couch. It's beige. I wish it was red. I wish everything I own to be red or pink. Why am I thinking like a scatter brain bimbo? I realize rudely that I am trying to run from the thoughts of what he is doing in that bathroom. I sit on the couch, plug into my music player trying to let the music soothe my soul. Enrique sings, "not in love" that's the song that makes most sense now.

Do I love him? He is my friend, long lost, kindergarten friend. He remembers me from my pigtail and chubby cheeks day. I blush remembering the grey skirt, red and white checked shirt and red tie. I don’t love. But sure as hell I have been thinking about him for the past 3 months. If this was a movie, there would a flashback right here. That night I was just about done ready to call it a night, I got a call from him and ended up in his apartment at midnight. The day dream unfolded and then came crashing down. When I finally came to my senses I realized I wanted to take one more try. What do I want? Another night may be.

*****

I suddenly think I hear my name. I clamber off the couch, looking here and there and pulling the ear phones out with a jerk. It's all quiet except the ceiling fan. I hear my name called out and realize it's coming from the bedroom, I hurry back to the room, I find him poking his head from the bathroom door, his hair is wet, the water drips on to his face, he keeps pushing back his hair with his hand, I can see him naked, well not all naked, just up to his chest. 

He says, "Where were you? I thought someone kidnapped you?" He smirks to see me scowl. I try to mutter something about music and head phones, he waves his hand at me to stall me, and launches into, " we should eat in today you are tired and look like you will fall asleep now, there are a few menu's on top of the fridge in the kitchen, take them and decide what you want to have. I will be done in 10 minutes then we'll order. It's very late."

"It's probably 8 pm ", I try to tell him, he opens his eyes wider in horror, "No, it's almost 10 PM. I picked you up from the hotel at 8 pm." I am shocked, I point to the clock in the room, and this one is like a half and half thing, with one side made of glass and the other wood with silver roman numerals embossed on it. It shows 9. He grins back, "none of the clocks in my apartment work." What a foolish thing to do, I wonder but refrain from commenting, because in all this conversation, he has opened the door a little more and I can see his entire arm gesticulating at me. Does he want me to get his towel? I snap out of the line of thought, as he says, "try the Italian menu, it's good, I know you like Italian food, you are always having pasta or pizza." and closes the door, I don't hear the telltale sound of the bolt lock engaging. Doesn't he lock the bathroom door? I imagine peeping through the keyhole, for whatever reasons the door has a lock with a key hole; I had noticed it the last time. I can't stare through the key hole. What am I?

I am in the kitchen now and manage to find the menus, I ignore all except the Italian, and Mr. Know it all wants to have Italian so be it. I glance at menu as I flop down on the couch muttering to myself, a drop of water falls on my foot and I look up. He's standing in his black track pants with green border on the sides, I blanch inwardly, a black T shirt with a fluorescent colored outline of a big shoe with equally long shoe laces, and I roll my eyes inwardly again.

"You haven't decided anything have you? I know what to order, give me the menu." He dials the number and speaks hurriedly on the phone ordering two portions of pasta, salad, garlic bread, chocolate mousse. My eyes grow wide; this is too much food being ordered. I try to attract his attention by waving. I know I should touch his shoulder, he is pacing up and down the room in long strides and I am oscillating between the awareness that he looks charming, I want to wrap my arms around him and I need to stop him from ordering so much. He looks at me finally, his eyes questioning, I nod suggesting nothing. Yes I have nothing to say. What can I say to this exasperating guy who is stuck in my head, ever since the day I sat beside him and he played with my hands lying on his bed and said “you have only been here for 2 hours, stay for 15 minutes more.”

He is back in the room having walked out for a while, he turns on the TV and slides the cabinet door open to his collection of DVD's, and raises an eyebrow again with the same questioning look. I ask, "When will the delivery be here." "In 40 mins." I search for the next thing to say, I am sitting wearing my old clothes since morning and would really like to change. How do I say this? Why am I being shy?

He breaks into the reverie, "I need to buy some cigarettes I am all out. I will be back in 15 minutes, can you stay alone?" I look up to him and in flash feel panic, alone in the apartment. I regain my composure and smile a big toothy grin and say yes. He looks at me appraising my reaction and changes out of slippers. "You can take one of my slippers to wear you know." Is it an offer or is it an option? I say, "No thank you, I will trip and fall in those huge slippers."

They are not that huge I sadly contemplate once he closes the door behind him and his footsteps on the stairs recede. Here's my chance to freshen up. I hurry into the bathroom with my change of clothes and towel. The hot water is ready, how thoughtful. There is only one set of hooks for clothes and I have so many, right now all the hooks are booked with his t shirt, tracks and towel. I gingerly lift the t shirt and track from the hook and place it on the bed in the room. I use the freed hooks. I manage to brush my teeth, heaven knows why and take a quick shower, I dress hurriedly in my pink unicorn PJ's and grey floppy over sized t shirt, my comfort wear. Thank god I am not carrying my usual rags. I step out happy to have beaten the clock, drying my wet hair. He is sitting in front of his laptop on the bed and smoking leisurely, he looks up, appraises me in one sweep, nods at his clothes on the bed, “you can leave your clothes on the washing machine, I can run it tomorrow." I flush, imagining my clothes and his in the washing machine together. Ridiculous.

"It's alright there is nothing to wash." I smile wanting to escape to the other room so I can deposit all my clothes into my suitcase.

He shrugs his shoulder and stares back at the laptop screen. I walk out to the next room, hastily stuffing my dirty clothes into the separate chamber in the suitcase and rub some lotion over my limbs and I am ready to dash out. I almost crash into him walking out of his bedroom. He steps aside and I come to stand still. He is anxious. He seems worried. He says," I wonder what is taking the delivery guy so long, you are hungry." Is it a question?

I nod in the negative. He dismisses it. He picks up the phone and dials and asks about the delivery. He seems reassured after the call. "Do you want to watch a movie?" I shrug non commitedly.  He probably thinks I am bored. "You are bored, I know, I am sorry I left you alone for so long. Actually I am in the habit of taking a shower after I get back home. The food is taking so long. I promised you I will take you out for dinner and now you are bored and hungry."

With so many things tumbling out of his mouth I am slightly shocked. I try to reason with him. "I am not bored, and the food will be here nothing to be worried about. Let's watch a movie." I try to placate him. "What movie do you want to watch? These are the titles I have", he points to the cabinet.

I don't want to watch a movie, what about our discussion? I want to tell him. I keep quiet. I glance at the titles none of them interesting me. I shrug again. He's tired; he runs his hand through his hair and rubs the back of his neck. I could do that. He offers a solution, rattling off names of movies, and I have to tell him which I haven't seen. I have seen most, and then he says Rocknrolla. I have not seen this. I know it's a Gerard Butler movie, I know it is also a very violent movie. I have no desire to watch it. He is excited, "you haven't seen this, you must it is really good. And girl's like Gerard Butler."

What rubbish! Generalizations are stupid.

*****

He pops the DVD in the player and drags the two black bean bags in front of the couch; I am excited about the bean bags not the movie. I admonish myself inwardly. He sits on one of the bean bag and puts his feet up on the other and I am left to slink back onto the couch where I was sitting all this while. So no bean bag for you.

He lights a cigarette, dragging on it slowly, I watch his face, his hands, and how he shifts his weight or crosses his legs. I am watching him as the scene on the TV gets going, the noises are alarmingly loud, I make a face, I see him twisting his neck to see me, and he turns down the volume. He keeps looking back at me every few minutes to check. I feel irritated. Why does he need to do that?

The calling bell buzzes, it's our food. He puts the movie on pause and gets up all in one swift movement. How does he do it? Before I have come out of the daze of what is happening he is paying off the delivery boy and collecting the food. I offer to help. He almost pushes me aside carrying the food to the kitchen, he takes out cutlery and plates with the cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth and eyes scrunched up from the smoke. When I offer to carry some of the things to the living room, he gives me some forks and spoons and nudges me along with the plates in his hand. I feel displeased, why is he treating me like a leper? Can't I touch anything?

Back in the room I divide up the food on the plates. He sits back on his bean bag. I can't resist, “why don't you come and sit here on the couch?" 

He replies without turning back, "I always sit here when watching TV, that couch is for guests."

I keep quiet, digging into my food. Dinner is over and the movie is getting serious. We remove the plates and stuff back to the kitchen. I try to figure out what time it is. It must be past midnight. He lights up another to smoke. I am distracted by him, too distracted to notice Gerard Butler on screen.

I can barely keep my eyes open, I find myself slowly stretching out on the couch. I think I am drifting off to sleep. "This is an interesting scene." he says and I open my eyes wide. Gerard Butler is in bed with a woman. Holy cow, must I watch this with him in the room.

He glances up at me smiling, sees me stretched out on the couch almost dozing, he pauses the movie. I think we are done for the night. I yawn, "shall we sleep I am dead, we can watch this movie tomorrow." “I have seen this before, but if you want we can watch it tomorrow. You didn’t like the movie, you are bored.” He is looking at me when he says this, he is trying to judge the reaction I am about to give. I keep quiet.

Again the same statement, why must he worry whether I am bored?” I am fine. If I am bored I will say it.

 I drag myself of the couch and feel a head rush. He looks at me suspiciously, “are you okay?” “Yes.” I am matter of fact.

I walk into the bedroom, he follows me, and says “do you need water to drink at night’? “There’s enough for now.”I say, pointing to one bottle beside the bed. He nods, walks out and I try to figure out how to bring up the subject of where I should sleep. He walks back in with another bottle and keeps it on the other side of the bed.

I manage to gather up my courage and say, “Can you help me pull out the couch cum bed?” He frowns at me shocked almost, “you are sleeping here, and there is enough space here. You are not sleeping on the couch.” That puts an end to all discussion.

This is exactly what confuses me, he will on one hand make effort to give me a choice in so many petty things but in the one place I want to have a choice he will take it away with a wave of his hand.

I resign myself, climb into the bed, it’s not as bad as I had imagined, it’s comfortable, I fluff the pillow and lie down. I am wishing I had a cover, although it’s not cold but I am uncomfortable sleeping without one. I turn towards the wall away from him and close my eyes, just in time to hear his phone ring. He calls out, “I got to take this video call do you mind if I take this in the other room, and I will be back soon.” I nod and sleep.

I don’t know how long it’s been but I feel warm and open my eyes to find a white and blue duvet on me. It’s comfortable. It’s almost like him, or at least that’s how I would imagine his embrace would be. My sleepy brain smiles as I grin foolishly.

******

The light is on in the room, I can hear faint sounds, I turn around and find him sitting in front of his laptop, he is concentrating hard on the sound which are muffled and low. He drags on his smoke slowly and blows it out even slower. He seems relaxed. He becomes aware of my eyes on him, and turns back, his eyes look tired but he says, “I was just finishing watching an episode from my favorite TV series. Do you mind?” I nod in the negative.

What is wrong with me, how do I become so tongue tied around him? What is it about him? What is going on in my head? I am disappointed that we haven’t really talked like I thought we would like we normally do on phone. I am disappointed he isn’t showing any interest me and is being completely aloof and formal. I am supposed to be the friend he wanted to have come over and spend a weekend, go on trip, spend a night. What happened to that? I sulk. But I can’t sleep under the fluorescent light glaring in the room. I get up still wrapped in the duvet and shift tentatively towards the laptop trying to peer into the screen. He is watching How I Met Your Mother. One of the many TV series we both love err like. He realizes I am awake, looks at me evenly, “am I disturbing you?”

“No.” I croak, bristling with anger.  Why does he do this exasperating thing? I try to smile. He looks at me waiting for a few seconds expecting me to say something. I am looking back at him, directly into his eyes, SHIT, how am I doing this? I realize stupidly that I am not wearing my lenses and can’t really see very clearly, He’s eyes are blurry, fuzzy at the edges. So, this is the solution to my problem, no lens and half blinded by my myopia? I almost chuckle, stopping before the sound escapes my lips.

“Is this the latest episode? I am watching this current season.” I breathe.

“This is the latest episode; do you want to watch it from the beginning?” He looks at me with his finger poised above the laptop.

“Yes, if you don’t mind.” My formality gets the better off me. I must stop this.

“Okay.” The video is paused. It begins to play from the start. The familiar characters fill the laptop screen. I can barely hear the words; I grimace not being able to make out the words spoken. I am wondering what to do. He stops the video again, I look up, he leans towards me and for a moment I wonder what is on his mind.  Is he going to kiss me? I hate myself for thinking like this. Why do I have a parallel track running in my head? I clamber back to the now.

He leans back and picks up the headphones from the headboard of the bed, plugs it into the laptop point and offers me one ear bud, the one with longer wire, I put it in my ear, he shows a Thumbs Up sign with his hand and plays the video.

I am close to him still wrapped in the duvet constricted in movement. I am trying not to get too close or touch him by accident. He looks at me from the corner of his eyes, “are you cold?” I flush a little; I must look ridiculous in the duvet. I struggle to remove it, as is obvious my ear phone slips out and I end up tugging his ear bud out too. He is startled, “What did you do? Oh!”  Is he irritated, shit what an idiot I am. “Wait!” he takes away the ear phones from me. Holds one side of the duvet as I wriggle out of it, he flips it away to the other side of the bed near the headboard. We are sitting near the foot of the bed on one coroner.

I notice to my horror that my PJ’s have climbed up to my knee on my left leg and the t- shirt is scrunched up on my back, I tug at both with my hands managing to smoothen them back. I realize he is looking at my foot. He shakes his head, what doesn’t he approve? My silver and white stone anklet or the toe rings? I love jewelry, maybe he doesn’t like it. What is all this self doubt?

“Ready now?” It’s question about the video. I nod, again words fail me. I am not wearing my lenses I can’t really make out much of the video. But I don’t want to interrupt him again. He puts in his ear bud;  I wait for him to hand over the other one to me. He looks at me signaling with his fingers to shift near to him, I do, he pushes the ear bud into my left ear. I feel his touch on my cheek and ear lobes and almost gasp. He is so warm, almost hot. Without the duvet for my cover my skin is exposed to him. My arms brush against his arm and I feel something like a shock, I try to keep my limbs away from him. But they behave like frost bitten appendages trying to find warmth. There is nothing worse than involuntary invasion of personal space. I have a Masters degree in that.

He has played the video again. We watch in silence.

Robin is kissing Barney. Oh my! Barney has feelings for her. Barney, the guy who goes through women like tickets of a blockbuster motion picture! This is a surprise twist in the story! I am wondering where this will go, the video ends abruptly. I am still glowing from the soft and touching moment. Barney is my favorite character in the series. He seems the kind of guy who will never fall in love. But he has. I am smiling.

He is looking at me. I blush. I never blush.

He looks at me very intently, takes out his headphone, I mirror his action, but his hands are already there, our fingers touch and I think this is not happening, I blush and feel my cheeks burn. I roll my eyes at myself. He still looks amused and searchingly looks at me. He is turning off the laptop and places it on the floor beside the bed. He leans over and I see his t-shirt ride up. A glimpse of skin shouldn’t make me flush. But I do wondering how it would feel to run my hand over his skin. I am fascinated by my thoughts. I lean across the bed and run a finger down the exposed skin between his T Shirt and the waist band of the tracks. He is shocked and jumps up at my touch. My fingers are icy cold and his skin so deliciously hot to touch. I pull away my hand hold it near my mouth blowing on it softly as if it’s burnt. He looks at me quizzically. His eyebrows are reaching for the top of his forehead. I smile in glee. 

******

I avoid looking as he takes too long to get up. My stomach has done a summersault imagining all this. My imagination gives me powers which fail in the real world. I cannot touch him. He has stopped leaning over. I sigh.

He leans towards me again; I know this time what to expect, he will put back his ear phones near the headboard. I move slightly in front to let him have access to the headboard.  “No one’s kissing you tonight, girl” I tell the truant mischievous girl in my head, who wants to peep through a key hole or wishes the door of the bath room to open wider, wishes to see him saunter out wrapped in a towel, who admonishes me for lying and snoring, I don’t snore, but it is as bad as snoring to lie in bed like a log of wood and sleep. He put the white and blue cover on me! Oh he must have touched me!

I am shocked to hear my name whispered into my ears and feel his warm breath on my neck, I look at him. His tired eyes are warm and his lips are parted, he raises his eye brow questioningly. Was I not paying attention? Of course I wasn’t paying attention! Did he ask me something? What did I miss? I open my mouth to ask, in flash his lips are almost on mine. But it’s not a kiss. We stare into each other’s eye, I am not afraid to look, and he is not blurry without my lenses, Oh I can see his eyes, all this time I thought he had unimpressive eyes, but I look into them and find myself unable to look away, they draw me into their dark depths. They don’t look tired, they look alive.

His eyes are again asking.

He mouths my name with a question mark at the end. I widen my eyes, wondering, why his lips were almost on mine.

I don’t know why I just couldn’t wait, was it his eyes, was it his smell, was it the silly TV show. Before I know it I have inched my head forward and just like an electric circuit closes, our lips meet. Both of us are still looking into each other. It’s as if we are waiting and worrying who will break the kiss or blink. I feel a pressure in my head, I want more and I try to will him with my eyes, imploring to take the next step. I have stopped breathing; I can feel his warm sweet breath on me. His eyes grow wide and this time he presses his lips back on mine, that’s probably hint enough for me to part my lips a little and breathe out, it’s almost a sigh.

He doesn’t need another hint, his lips claim mine. I close my eyes. This is what I wanted, this one chance. I am kissing him. No, he is kissing me.  His lips are soft and tentative. I grow restless, wanting to run my hand over his shoulders, touch is face, run my fingers through his hair. But I can’t. I am sitting at an odd angle and all I can do is lean into the kiss. We haven’t broken the kiss yet. Now I wonder how long will this go on. I admonish myself for such a thought. I try to concentrate on what his lips feels like, they don’t feel soft, they are too soft, they are like nothing I have known, yet I feel they are exactly the way they should be. He is kissing me passionately and I am frozen unsure what to do except not withdraw away from him. I wonder should I part my lips? Is this the time? He stops. His lips withdraw not completely, he is still breathing heavily and I have a shallow breathing. He is again looking at me. Another question.

Okay, wait this is it. My brain is screaming at me, I am screaming back at it to shut up. I want to savor this moment. He is looking at me still breathing hard, I can feel his warmth because he has been so close. We are not kissing anymore. We are gauging each other’s reaction. Finally I break eye contact, blushing, a shy smile spreads across my lips, I feel it and blush more. He whispers my name this time a little urgently, I look up. He looks lost, he runs his hand over his forehead and eyes, he again has that tired look in his eyes, he says, “you didn’t like it did you?”

Again!! “Why do you keep assuming I don’t like things? I will tell you if I don’t.” I say a little forcefully. I realize his eyes growing tired. What am I doing? I need to get us back to where we were? Where were we? “I was surprised. I like surprises.”

His eyes sparkle as grin spreads across his face, I notice his white teeth, very white teeth, and he has the widest smile, giving even Julia Roberts a run for her money. I grin at the thought. He raises his eyebrows, noticing my grin. He reaches out and touches my arm and pulls me towards him. I maneuver myself to face him with my legs tucked on one side. We are face to face. Is he going to kiss me again?

“May I?’ this time he mouths the words. I wonder why he is asking for permission to kiss me. Or is it for something more?  I blush and look away at his chest, on the fluorescent lines forming a big sneaker. I don’t know what he understands. I feel his fingers delicately moving the strands of hair falling over my eyes and putting them behind my ears. They won’t stay put, I know, they are cut too short, they always fall on my eyes and encircle my round face. I wish I hadn’t got this haricut. There I go again.

I look up at him without moving my head up and try to gauge his reaction may be even his plan. He takes a sharp breath and his mouth is a straight line, with no speck of the wide grin. “Don’t look at me like that.” He says it in a slightly heavy voice unlike the whispered words earlier. The air between us was already charged. But this adds something to it, a promise of veiled passion.  I look back down and straighten up to look at him directly, his mouth relaxes, he had moved his hand away from me, and He tentatively puts away the errant hair behind my ear. The expectation builds inside me.

to be continued ....

Revival

Here is a blast from the Past a REVIVAL of a forgotten Blog.

The Day Dream Story

Disclaimer: All Characters are Fictitious.

The problem with a job that involves travelling across the length and breadth of a country is that you are living out of a suitcase and your laptop is your only companion. Lying in the corner the blue- grey trolley looked tired and worn out just like I probably did. That reminded me I had not yet had dinner and it was getting late. The thought of changing out of the rag like but very comfortable nightwear into something more appropriate in order to go and have the buffet dinner seemed to much of a task. I was talking to my friends over social network, catching up about our respective day. I guess there was no harm in asking for room service. As I was telling a friend I met earlier in the evening, snacking after 7 pm will kill your appetite for dinner. I didn't feel like having anything.

But a call to the house keeping was due for some drinking water. That done I was back catching up with the folks online. We seem to be catching up with people online more than in real life. That's the irony of technological advances isn't it? But I can't wonder that aloud, I am alone in this huge room.

Conversations online mostly are like threads you start out with something and move onto something else and when one conversation ends on a particular day, you find it fairly easy to pick it up the next day. So along with the usual "how was you day?' there was the entire cribbing which was due for this week. Yes it had been a week since I had landed in the city and no my special friend hadn't come around to visit, nor call. Told you we meet people virtually a lot more these days.

People have a way of ending up disappointing me without knowing, and although I had about a thousand time promised my friends read girlfriends that I was not going to be upset about this, yet I was slowly getting sad.

It was 10:45 in the night and the day was over and I was leaving the city tomorrow. Hopeless! that's what the situation was.

The phone rang, strangely it was my alternate number where everyone was not supposed to call to help me save roaming charges, i wondered who it was. So, it was a shock to hear another very familiar voice, and I can't insist on the "very familiar' more, say "what's the address of your hotel?" I glanced at the watch it was 11 pm. I asked very much like the insensitive idiot that I am, "why, are you planning to come here?" I know "insensitive" seems a harsh word but that's what I am sometimes. I have a parallel track of conversation running in my head as we speak. I always seem to do that. But for some reason my responses just get stilted and I say exactly the opposite to what I think I should.

I kept pacing the room, hurriedly changing out of the rags that I keep calling nightwear. This was such a bad idea wasn't it. But this is what I was cribbing about a moment before. "Oh get a life girl! stop being silly"... I tell myself.

The dinner has gotten cold and I am trying to pretend to eat, not an ounce seems to travel past my throat, I drink a few glasses of water hoping it would calm my racing heart. The person in question here , responsible for the racing heart- is fiddling away with my laptop, as if between his dinner and 11 PM the world would end if he didn't check whatever he was checking. Ok that was an un intelligent thing to say, but I can't remember what is it that he said, I had the blood pounding in my ear and didn't hear a thing.

I stare out the clear plate glass window separating the room from the balcony into the dark night and wonder what to do. As usual I have no plans, I never seem to have any plans. But back home I am the one with the plans, but the pounding blood which Ideally should make me think more isn't helping.

I look up finding his reflection on the wall mirror, and suddenly a few minutes are gone and he is saying something I have no clue what, so I say "Yes Of course,sounds good", I was lost in staring at his reflection. This is not how a grown up woman should behave but then there I am avoiding even making eye contact. I look at the food, I look at the glass, I look at the walls and the ceilings, everywhere else but at him.

Now that we are in the car driving around aimlessly, I get comfortable. Strange a 'tiny car' seems less scary than a Hotel Room. I have often wondered why I can't talk normally in a room, I guess the whole King Size bed, the drawn blinds, the fact that we are alone in that space works on my mind. That should apply to cars shouldn't it? But it doesn't, I am cheerful, rattling off stories of my day. Apparently we are visiting his new apartment, which I haven't seen. I had no clue I had even said yes, I try to remember vaguely about something which I hadn't seen and he suggested I should see. I said yes, instantly, at the thought that we would be out of that room and hopefully with lots of people. Now I am hurtling towards his apartment at 12 AM in the night.

Brilliant! it does take a moron like me to come up with this kind of a situation. I keep checking every turn we are taking, every signpost I can read, I am like Jason Bourne, I count the stairs when I go up them in the dark, I am checking all the points of Exit. God, how melodramatic!!

I think this apartment is the biggest one I have seen, it's huge, and I see the furniture and wonder, who used to live here before, the taste is meticulous, the sofa is not a usual unimaginative black leather piece, each room has a wall clock, that actually are really nice but completely unnecessary ( I have a particular dislike for looking at watches and clocks). The rooms are sparsely decorated but contain what is required and nothing more, well maintained for a bachelor pad and looks well lived in, very warm and nice. So, I tick of points in my head, and then my eyes travel to the clock, damn it's been 15 mins already.

Exit strategy one, I am sleepy.

I abandoned that.

This is going in the worst possible way. I walk into his bedroom, and a relief floods me the bed looks like a dumping ground for everything, clothes, gadgets, utensils, typically like my own, except you would find some of the stuff not common. I say aloud my parents should see this and stop complaining that I am a pig and a hoarder, in my head I breath a sigh of relief, I am not expected to sit here because there is no space, the room is again clawing at my thought. But I have to give due attention to the collection of DVD's, so I spent time reading out the names and counting, avoiding looking at him, in fact I always have my back towards him, I can see from the corner of my eyes he is hovering around at a safe distance, with a straight face and something in his eye. Damn those eyes, never look at them. Two reasons I don't make eye contact, first, terrified of what I will see in them, second, petrified of what he will see in mine. I am so transparent.

DVD's, music, laptops, gadgets, clocks, shoes, rooms, cold beverages, I pick up everything randomly and throw into the conversation. It's almost an hour time for a new exit strategy.

Exit strategy two, you must be tired...

I start the sentence and trail off, because the rest fails logic, ideally I would say three things over phone,"freshen up", "have dinner", "get some rest", none worthy of an exit.

So back to gadgets and phones, by this time I have been tricked into sitting cross legged and precariously at the edge of the bed, a midst the hoard of junk, rattling off about something, I can't even put a finger and what I am saying, I am filling up the silence, the air conditioner, doesn't make enough sound, I curse it, I turn the fan on, because it is hot, then turn it lower, realizing the temperature control on the Air Conditioner reads 23, which means I am flushed. Suddenly I turn around to find my phone in his hand, and he has wicked smile on his face. The first few pictures in the gallery flash across my mind, I feel embarrassed, because I take pictures of empty rooms sometimes, then I feel wondering about the other pictures he must be looking at.

I snatch back the phone, and a argument ensues, about phones, privacy, wi fii connections, and suddenly without realizing I am sitting too close to him - I have no sense of personal space- trying to peer into the two phones, and arguing about the validity of some statement I am making. I stiffen up move away, slowly, thankfully the gadget experiment fails. I am sulking at the end of the bed staring at the clock tick to 1hour 30 mins.

Exit strategy three, throw a tantrum.

I revive the argument on privacy throw a few slaps at him, threaten to destroy the junk on the bed, throw a few things to the floor, but my heart isn't into it, finally without much trying in a reflex action i kick his shin. Now he is really pissed. I guess I overdid it. I guess some exit strategies are self destructive. Wonder what Bourne would have done?

I find he is watching me and I see he is pocketing his Car keys and apartment keys, so I am finally getting out of this sane, I think to myself.

One word breaks across the thoughts,"punishment". He is saying something, and slowly it starts registering, he refuses to drop me back, I instantly start thinking of the road map in my head, then comes another shock, the gates to the building are closed, I put up a brave fight, but when I was entering the building I checked the exit points and he is not making baseless threats. I am really stuck here.

I put up a brave face, I put up a fight, I lay out fake strategies.

He lays down the options, the practical ones.

And in my head, it is all coming together, I keep wondering how is it possible that he is saying all this, where have I heard this before. I know I have heard this somewhere. I strain to think. I try to pacify him by offering him some cold beverage, he refuses, I am wondering an thinking why does this seem familiar. The clock hands have ran past 2 AM, I figure no point putting up a fight to this, the flight is in the afternoon enough time to collect my luggage and get to the airport. So i take up one of the options he offered, of spending the night on his sofa and go to check out the arrangement, there is a balcony behind the room, and the frosty dark glasses scare me, I contemplate how scared I will be sleeping there alone, waking up to every creek of glass or wind whistling, but I am too tired and I want to sleep and the sofa looks pretty tempting. I hear him walk out of his bedroom, I guess I should swallow my exit strategies, and ask for help with the sofa being set up and a set of spare clothes he was offering. I smile at him and say, " well , since you are punishing me you better take good care of the prisoner, I am going to need to sleep as I am tired, don't suddenly decide after an hour that you have forgiven me and are setting me free."

The music blares, and the road flashes past, I feel scared and ask him to drive slower. I sit on my Hotel Room bed and then it hits me, where I had heard the options of sofa, extra clothes, a night before the return flight, it was in my Day Dream sitting in the cubicle with all the phones ringing, people shouting, fax machines whirring, and me staring at the laptop screen deciding on the final return dates for Sunday so I could spend a night with the special friend who I am madly in love with.

So much for a Day Dream... that's why when everything is happening exactly like your Day Dream just shut up and close your eyes.

2nd Moment

You know why I quoted that mail at the end of our conversation? Just remind you that we’ve been down this path of taking a break and it has left us both miserable.

In every little thing that I have done may be I’ve not been the best friend but the care that I have is not fake or not pretentious.

I will not say that I do anything because I just feel – you are talking like me these days anyway, I do things because I feel like doing them because I care about you or may be you will interpret it as selfishness.

I am not sure when we will talk and I know every day we don’t its make me enjoy and more angry. Why do you do this? Its as if every time you feel like you will push me out and when you feel like take me back. I’m not some kind of a pet you know. Even people don’t behave like this with animals! Why do you do such a thing? I just can’t understand. What do you get out of hurting me? Why? Why? Why? ……. Why?

It’s a horrible thing to say but today, I felt as if it would so much better had we never met. It’s a cruel thing to wonder about. Do you know sometimes it is so hard to even think?

You have vowed to speak what’s on your mind and yet you hide so much. You hide the confusion in your mind. Teaching you the necessity to speak your mind has been incomplete. The idea is to clarify doubts, dilemmas, find answers and meanings. But you still run away and hide inside your shell and that’s stupid.

I am not sure in spite of reading all that I wrote I’m not sure what the exact feeling inside me is.

I want to hate you. I hate you – I guess so – I mean I should after all you are mean and hurtful.

But, I’m not able to – I mean every time I think of snapping all contacts – I make up my mind but I guess my heart doesn’t agree. I was just thinking – may be, if at all I’m no longer your friend who will throw your 30th birthday party. I mean I guess there will be people who will – but not me I mean … I don’t know!

You know last month I traveled very near to your house and through the streets we used to walk and in the middle of a serious conversation with a colleague – I smiled I did - and I don’t know why.

We are very different. But I don’t believe that I can’t work over those. I think we have – and we can.

You know someone had once said that ‘I love you’ are the biggest tax benefits one has. You know why because every one uses them all the time. I’m not sure I agree. You know from my previous relationships I had learnt it is more important to tell people that you love them. But from your friendship I have learnt love is not enough – it’s just not enough.
You know I wanted to tell you o many things – so many times. But every time I waited for us to become ‘closer’ friends where in you wouldn’t judge me, hate me, leave me.

1 st Moment

I am hurt and yet there is the returning to the same person for words of consolation. I am not even sure why I am scribbling this sometimes it is something entirely futile.
Although there must be at least a thousand reasons for you to leave me, I cannot find one good enough. Every time you leave I promise myself – no more this is the last time. To ruin someone’s happiness is a crime which you commit every time and yet I feel at the very end at a loss without you.
Is it a lack of confidence? I’m not sure I know – I don’t want to know the answer.
How easily you said that day – “it doesn’t hurt” when I pinched you. As if it was a state of salvation you had achieved after such a lot of meditation but is it – was it said to hurt me? I felt hurt. Totally hurt, why?

Because I wish to hurt you by pinching and you want to prove to me – that I don’t have the capacity to hurt you anymore !

In spite of all the trials that ‘we’, yes we have been through and each time I have been positive hoping that we are growing stronger. That’s the reason there wasn’t any doubt about being there as your friend on your ‘sacred’ 30th birthday.
You counted all the reminder setting mechanical devices – computer, cell would fail so the best place to keep the reminder would be my brain – strange that you didn’t question the lasting ability of our relationship.
One more strangeness – you don’t refer to our friendship – you call it our relationship.
Sometimes I wonder have you finally started looking at things my way – not as something with boundaries, rules and regulations not something tied down by a terminology like ‘friend’ but free flowing like water taking the shape of any container you use.
Am I being too philosophical?
I’m extremely complicated for you? Right???

MEMOIRS LOST IN TIME

Of a soul

Tormented by the Past,

Besieged by the Present,

Plagued by the Future.

By

Clytemnestra !!

chapter six

The memories

It flashed through her mind at the instance the face became recognizable in the white light, it was Deepak. All those long pent up feelings rushed into her with a sudden gust and she felt herself sink under a tide of feelings unknown. the day before the Spring Festival, flashed across her mind as she tried to shut out the swollen face and blood satined shirt of Deepak int hat room...

Prakriti spirits were sinking with the setting sun. Spring was her favorite season and the time a few weeks after the Spring Festival was especially dear to her. That was when the weather would begin to warm a little and one could hear the merry chirping of birds as they flew from their nests to the fields to feed and then back to their nests. On the way, they would alight on trees, electric poles or wires, housetops and any other place they could for a few moments and then let loose a torrent of birdsong, dancing their necks in every direction, looking for their variation of love. Prakriti used to love watching the bird’s wing their way around in complete freedom, sometimes alone and sometimes in flocks that waxed and waned as they flew circles around the city skies. In the evenings she would delight at the invisible patterns their flights formed, as the birds tired themselves for the night, before they returned home.

“They look so happy, unconcerned and full of life,” Prakriti thought as she gazed absently at a flock. She wondered what the secret of their happiness was. Prakriti was feeling uncharacteristically heavy in her heart, as if something deep inside was craving for something indefinable, a feeling of loneliness gripping at her from the inside. Prakriti looked away from the skies to turn her gaze to the people around. Sitting alone on a park bench, she noticed a student couple sitting at a bench to her left. She stole a glance at them and then looked away a little guiltily as the girl looked directly at her. They were holding hands and were about to embrace when Prakriti had noticed them and her eyes had lingered on them a few moments longer then she intended. The girl had almost begun to smile at Prakriti, feeling a little guilty herself but seeing Prakriti look away, her smile died a premature death.

Prakriti looked up at the skies again, feigning disinterest in what was happening at the bench near her, trying to hide her own embarrassment, as if the act of looking up would erase the discomfort of the past few moments. But, Prakriti’s mind was beset with her own pangs of loneliness, a feeling enhanced by the proximity of those young lovers. Prakriti longed for the company of a male, who would hold her, kiss her, embrace her and even… Sometimes, nature or God, as some call that inexplicable force that seems to work in strange ways, responds in strange ways. “Prakriti Prakriti…” someone called to her familiarly. Prakriti turned to look at the caller and smiled as she saw Deepak. Deepak was her classmate but Prakriti had hardly ever conversed with him except on the odd occasion. She smiled at him, her smile appearing warmer than ever before. Deepak came and sat next to Prakriti. “Such a wonderful evening…it seems the world is a perfect place!” he exclaimed.

Prakriti did not answer. She did not know how to answer when she felt as she did.

“Have you had dinner?” Deepak asked, trying to break the wall of silence.

“Prakriti nodded though she had not.

Sensing her mood, Deepak looked at her, saying, “I guess, you don’t feel too communicative… perhaps, I’ll go alone…Bye.” And with that, Deepak got up and walked away.

Prakriti had not even had the time to say a goodbye and she felt strangely horrible to have let Deepak go the way he had. “Perhaps, he’ll think I’m snooty,” she thought, wondering what she could do to rectify matters. Deepak had already gone a long way and when Prakriti decided to go after him, she realized it was too late and that she would look like a fool chasing after him so she continued sitting at the bench, fossilized by the workings of her brain.

That night, Deepak’s diary had an entry that read, “I followed her all afternoon after school, keeping a distance so she would not see me. I walked behind her after class and went all the way to the park. She looked strangely lost in a way I have never seen her before. Finally, when she had been sitting on the bench in the park, I could not bear it any longer. Seeing the state she was in, I gathered the courage to go and sit next to her. I knew she had eaten nothing and asked her if she had, hoping she would join me for dinner. She nodded her head as if to say she had, lying. I think she does not like me and no matter what I do I can’t attract her attention. Perhaps, she likes another boy and finds me unattractive or unworthy of her. I wished I was dead then. I hate myself for loving a girl who does not even notice it. I feel like such a fool, a man who does not deserve to live."

Prakriti went back to her dormitory late that evening, feeling like she had never felt before. She met her best friend and was telling her, “I saw him…out of the blue. I was sitting on the park bench when he called out to me and I looked up to find it was ‘him’. I was feeling so lost and so…lonely…” she struggled to say the words. “He asked me if I had had dinner," she continued, "and I nodded my head to say I would be happy to go with him. But, I guess, I did not say anything; hoping he would say more…perhaps, ask me again. And, suddenly, he got up saying he thought I was not communicative and left. I wanted to chase after him and tell him that I was hungry and would be more than happy to share dinner with him. But, he was gone in a flash, as if I was just another girl…as if I meant nothing to him.

Little did Prakriti know that Deepak had gone barely a few hundred feet and was waiting for her beyond the corner, hoping to catch another glimpse of her, hoping to ask her to join him again.

Neither Prakriti nor Deepak knew that the other had slept hungry that night...

Chapter - Five

§ The Surprise

She opened her eyes and felt sweat running down her forehead and into her, she tried to wipe it away and found her hands were tied. Where could she be? There thin rays of light filtering through some splints in the high ceiling. Initially, in the darkness she thought she was in a stable. Then she adjusted her eyes to the half dark and half-light of the room and found traces of mechanical devices and tools scattered and strewn in corners. This could be a garage or an empty factory, she thought. Trying to focus her thoughts on what had happened, she realized she had been kidnapped. She thought how could that be. It must be a mistake. Why would anyone want to kidnap? She wasn’t rich, neither were her parents rich. This seemed almost like a movie yet there was no real reason for a gang to kidnap her.
Then she thought, may be this was more of a random thing. May be they had just seen her and then kidnapped her, may this was one of those things that one thinks can never happen to oneself. She kept thinking might be there was some mistake. But as time went by and no one showed up her mind began to wander. She started thinking may be she was going to be raped. She thought,” wonder why this didn’t occur to her before. For my entire feminist attitude shouldn’t this have come to my mind first? Rape is only in the mind, nothing is going to happen to me, I can work my way out of this. What is important that I get out of this alive? I will do what these people say they want me to do, and I will leave here unarmed? Don’t have a ridiculous attitude, thought she, virginity is not an issue, you don’t want to die that is the most important thing.”
She steeled herself against all possible outcomes. But one thing she realized that she had to get out of this alive. She suddenly thought of Deepak, he must have been wondering where I am? She thought and she felt very alone and scared for the first time, and she felt warm tears washing her face.
Somewhere a tin scraped across the concrete floor, she strained her eyes to see but all she saw was dark mass of black. Then as turned around a sharp pull on her hair made her shriek with pain. Their was a strange looking man holding her, she could feel his sweaty hands groping her, as she shrieked again, cursing herself this time, she had to keep her cool, there appeared a burly man with a thick moustache, he walked straight down to her, and grabbed the other man and pulled him away, cursing him and calling him “Palan”. Whether it was his name Prakiriti couldn’t figure out. She was standing there stunned and dazed.
The burly man looked at her and asked her, “have you informed the police?” she was shocked. What could this mean? He raised his voice again and asked the same question. She denied having done anything. He raised his voice again and this time slapped the “Palan” across his cheek, whether he was mad or not, he cowered and kept saying that the girl knew something and he knew that. Prakriti was more and more confused. The big man called out, two smaller yet stout men came running in, Prakriti realized these were the same people who she had seen walking around. They grabbed her both arms and she didn’t fight them they dragged her, but she found her voice and said firmly that she would walk. Initially they didn’t listen or ignored her. Then she pulled her hands away from them and said in a loud voice in the vernacular, “I can walk by myself, please do not pull me I am not running away anywhere.” This caught the ears of the leader who turned around in his step and moved his hands to say that she was to be left alone and allowed to walk. Pagol had regained his stature and he hissed, “you can’t trust that bitch.” This was said presumably to the leader glared at him and motioned his two assistants. They prodded Prakriti. She walked quietly counting the men. One leader, his brother or may be not, two assistants, that makes four. They passed through a tin door into a stair case they climbed up a flight of stairs in front was a door that opened into a passage, this floor was white washed and not dirty although seems it had fallen to disuse. The corridor was closed with no widows, and it seemed like an endless journey suddenly, the leader walking in front of them disappeared, literally into thin air, before she could realize, the assistants grabbed her hands and turned her to the left into what seemed a glass room. It was dark except for the faint light form the corridor, the door closed behind her with a grunt, she turned around as someone brushed against her, then a light cam on somewhere, washing the whole room with a white glare, she lowered her eyes, as she raised her eyes again she saw a man tied to a chair in the middle of the room. She looked closely. Then suddenly she gasped as Palan went and pulled the man’s head up grabbing his hair.
***

CHAPTER FOUR

§ The Message
“It’s midnight, who the hell is it at this hour?” muttered Prakriti, as she opened her eyes with much effort to look at the cell. “Great, it is Deepak. No doubt ready with another cock and bull story.” She thought with disgust what sort of lame excuse the message would contain.
<00:29> Let’s meet in front of the Metro Station at 1.
What a stupid message, she thought, no explanation and on top of that literally a dictate. She decided she was not going to go. Why should she?
***
Next morning when she woke up she read the message again, and last mornings thought crossed her mind, did she make a mistake with the date? She decided to call him, but his cell was switched off. What a ridiculous thing, she thought again, and finally after her dance of indecision she made up her mind to go and meet him.
The heat outside was unbearable. The monsoon was delayed and the city was boiling. The humidity was energy sapping. The light breeze was as if from an open furnace, burning the very skin the moment it came in contact. The roads were empty except for a few passersby who themselves where scurrying for shelter. Everyone was indoors trying to avoid the May scorcher. Prakriti cursed herself for not carrying a cap to protect her head. She felt as if her brain was simmering like a sizzler. This didn’t help her temper at all, she thought, “Deepak is in store for a lot of verbal bashing.”
“Who decides to meet in this heat outside at 1? What a wonderful time to choose? He has certainly forgotten what the heat here can be like.”
She waited under the little shade of the building, averting her eyes from the glare outside. Everything seemed to be burning or melting. It was so horrible. It was 1:05 and still no sign of him. This was getting too much.
There were two men walking listlessly towards the building, she thought, “there are two more fools who our out for a walk in this weather.” She was smiling to herself when she noticed a Van slowing down and inching towards her deliberately, she suddenly remembered that Deepak had a car, she thought “may be he has finally had some brainwave and here he is with the car, thank god.” She peered eagerly but the tinted glass was so dark she could not make out who was inside there was a driver and a passenger; she kept wondering whether it was his dad inside. The door slid open and she tried to adjust her eyes to the darkness inside. She was about to say “thank god!” when she felt two powerful hands pushing her, she was surprised and irritated. As she turned around to give a piece of mind to the uncivilized person for pushing her so hard she saw the same two men who were walking listlessly,behind her. Someone from the van grabbed her waist and pulled her in before she could understand, she was on the seat of the van and three men climbed in and the van started.
She realized with a sudden fit of physical outburst that she was being kidnapped, she tried to push the man holding her down with all her might, she screamed and shouted and threw her arms at anyone she could see. After a while she started sweating in the air conditioned environment, she realized the van had music playing and her screams where drowned in that. She tried to fight the men with all her strength but more and more she realized she could not fight them for long. With one final surge of energy she kicked and thrashed with her arms at the man trying to hold her down and hit his groin. He nearly collapsed. As the grip loosened she tried to get up still fighting the other two, scratching them with her nails, and biting them even, pounding the window glass, with her shoes. But her strength gave away as she struggled to breathe, then all of a sudden the car stopped. She felt this was her opportunity she lunged at the door and it opened, but before she could free herself, someone pressed a rag on her mouth and nose. Before she had realized what had happened she had breathed in gulps of air through the rag and then it dawned on her this was some chemical. But it was too late the chemical had started taking its effect, and she saw the bright yellow light fade out as she collapsed back on the seat.

Chapter THREE

§ The Darkness
Deepak slowly opened his eyes, his eyes got used to the pitch-black darkness around him. He felt he was sitting on some kind of a chair, not very stable, his hands were painfully twisted round to his back and tied with adhesive tape. The same substance covered his mouth. He felt a throbbing pain all over his body, but he couldn’t feel anything specific, except that he felt nauseous from time to time. He had no idea where he was, what time was it? He felt hungry, sometimes, he felt he was going to throw up but he had nothing in his stomach to throw up, he tried to push down the feeling. His nostrils burnt and slowly his head started throbbing. He kept thinking something was going to happen now, and slowly his senses started to dull.
He must have dozed off, when a bright light pierced his heavy eyelids. He fluttered his eyes open, only to close them tight as the light hurt his eyes. He tried to turn his head sideways to avoid the direct beam. He heard shuffling footsteps coming towards him. He opened his eyes adjusting to the glare. He made out a couple of figures.
“What is your name?” they asked.
“Deepak.”
“Don’t lie.”
“Why have you brought me here? How dare you? Do you think you will get away with this?”
“But we already have” said someone from the corner.
“Don’t act smart with us. We know who you are.”
The lights suddenly were switched off, then someone splashed a bucket off cold water on his face, Deepak nearly choked, shocked and cold, he tried to make out the faces of the assailants. But he could not figure out their features. A big, stout man came forward and he seemed to be like the leader. After a observing him, the man asked one of his assistants, answering to the name “Kana”, to frisk Deepak.
They found his cell in his pocket. There were several missed calls, and messages, they asked Deepak to read the messages. And tell them who they were from. Deepak saw that the messages were from Prakriti. He thought he could get away by lying, and since he didn’t feel that scared he tried to put up a brave front.
What happened next astonished him.
The big man, possibly the leader waved his hand, someone whom Deepak had not noticed emerges from behind his chair and snatches the cell phone from his hand. The leader threatens Deepak with a firearm that if he tries to act smart he will get two bullets in his head. Deepak tries to think but his mind seems like a blank, there is no thought. Before anything else can happen they leave. Deepak is dazed and confused. He was being kidnapped why was he not being asked any questions. Strange! Then it occurs to him, they must have taken the cell phone with him to make a call to his home for the ransom demand. That made sense, and he figured till the next confrontation he must think out what to say and what to find out.
*****